Norman Lovett: I want “Everybody’s dead, Dave” written on my tombstone
Another option for actor most know for potrtraying Holly, the Red Dwarf ship’s computer with an IQ of 6000, “the same IQ as 6000 PE teachers”, would be: No man is an island. Except when he’s having a bath.
“It’s a nice gadget you got here,” says Norman Lovett, Holly from Red Dwarf for most, as he’s intently looking at my Zoom H4. Of course, compared to the sound equipment he encounters on stage, my Zoom looks like a tool from another planet — Lovett, who everyone knows as Holly, the on-board computer with the IQ6000, which is like 6000 gym teachers, is first and foremost a standup comedian, although virtually no one in the Czech Republic knows him that way. “I’ve started when I was 42, and I’m 75 in a couple of week’s time,” Holly/Norman tells me, and when I tell him my mom is 70 today, he sends her congratulations and says: “Women live longer anyway, and you know why? It’s their bonus for putting up with all the men!”
I’ve read some of your older interviews from around 2004, and you defined your own work as “observational rubbish”. What did you mean by that?
I come out with wrong words occasionally, which might sound interesting… observational rubbish, I shouldn’t have said that. I think I just got fed up with everyone calling me observational. Because if you are a comedian, you observe and you write. It’s so obvious.
I was watching Pyjamarama on YouTube, as well as other older material. From all standup comedians, you remind me Andy Kaufman.
That reminds me something… where does he come from?
He was an American standup comedian. Dead now.
Oh… dead. Everybody’s dead nowadays.
He was portrayed by Jim Carrey.
I love Jim Carrey! At least he’s not dead yet, I hope.
It’s like being quiet for 1 minute, almost no emotions, then a seconds later full rage, then quiet again…
They call it deadpan comedy. I purposedly did that when I started doing comedy — and I started quite late, when I was 32. But I mean I saw a comedian called Max Wall — have you heard of Max Mall? He’s got this silly walk thing… when I met him, he was horrible miserable old git [laughter]! Yes, a lot of comedians are miserable. I watched his standup and he did not rush. Thats all there is — take time, have pauses… as it suits you. And it definitely suits me. And as I got older, it suits me, as I’ve turned into an old man.
So, you still perform?
I had covid, I was in a hospital for a week, and then when I came back, I had this memory thing, so I think I need to have my brain scanned. I’ve waited 6 months till I got one. And I was just scared before my first gig, but I needn’t be scared, it was like was never away. And it’s been over a year.
Do you still watch today’s standup comedians? Do you have any favourites among them?
Catherine Ryan. Comes from Canada, do you know her? Reminds me of John Rivers, he’s dead now, she could be his daughter. And yeah, she’s wonderful. Very funny.
Another British comedian, Ricky Gervais, once said…
He’s not a standup comedian. No one calls him that. He makes shows, the stuff on camera. The Office was his best thing. Of course, he’s popular, he’s workaholic. But I wouldn’t call him standup comedian. And I’ve never met him, that’s quite weird. I usually know most of the people.
But he’s known to most as standup comedian. He does short performances, long performances, sketches…besides his TV and movie work. And all his live shows are sold out — so why not to call him standup comedian?
I’m perhaps jealous of him! Well… just joking, I’m not jealous at all. I’ve never met him, but I quite like his stuff. The Office was phenomenal.
… so, Ricky Gervais once said, that good joke is always offensive to someone. Would you agree with that?
No, I wouldnt. Not at all. I dont work like saying a joke. You can do something short, something observational, do a little one liner... it doesnt have to be a joke, and it doesnt have to be offensive.
About Red Dwarf: you first auditioned for Rimmer, but in all your interviews, you always said “I couldn‘t do Rimmer” — the question is: why? Why was Holly your choice then, not Rimmer?
Well, perhaps I could, but I didnt think i could. When I was reading it, I felt uncomfortable. I first read the script, I felt uncomfortable. When I read Holly, saying „Everybody’s dead Dave“, that’s funny.
Yes, thats the oneliner you want someone to say at your funeral.
I want that written on my tombstone. Everybody’s dead, Dave. Or maybe there will be another joke I made: No man is an island, except when he’s having a bath.
A bath?
Yes, a man’s got water all around. So he’s an island.
All right. Especially, when he’s got a big beer belly.
Then it’s a double island.
How many years you have been playing in Red Dwarf?
I’ve done 35 episodes and a couple of specials? But I don’t now how many years it is… I was there in the beginning, and I think I’m gonna be there at the end.
Why do you think Red Dwarf is so popular today? The show is quite old, and the fan base is still growing.
Yes, it’s very old! So, I think if the last episode I was involved in was the last one ever, it would be a good thing to finish on — it’s got pretty good reviews. I have the feeling it must end somewhere along the line. Perhaps its now, perhaps its 2–3 more to do, I don’t know. I don’t know why it’s going on so long, maybe it’s obviously a lot of jokes…. But good things live on.
Some films you just say, “oh I love that” and that you watch it again. They age well.
Many people here on this festival probably have seen Star Wars countless times.
I’m not a fan of it, I don’t like Star Wars. And Star Trek is even worse. It’s not even funny at all. I watched I a bit of Doctor Who, when I was younger. But I’m not really into scifi. I just like old things, but not necessarily being in space.
I know you’re a supporter of Labour party…
Well, I was, but since he’s not there anymore (Jeremy Corbyn, his friend, resigned from a chairman position), labour party is a mess. I just want to people who run the country to do the job.
What would Holly say to Boris Johnson?
“Die.” Oh no… not die, but I’ve insulted him. I was on a train, and he came on with his photographer. I was sitting in an empty carriage, and he sat there, his photographer sat there, and two young girls… women love him, you know? Fat blonde git, they think he’s amazingly funny. And I thought I got to say something as I get off, so I got up and the photographer was doing some talking about doing some photos… and I said: “Listen to yourselves” and just walked off to the end of the carriage. And when we came to the station, the photographer came running up and looked at my face and then ran off again. He knew what I thought… I wanted to say something annoying, maybe hit him… but that would have been absolutely stupid. I’m not a politician, but I wanted to say something, because I hated him. He’s just another privileged person.
As a standup comedian, you were performing with a punk band Clash. How did it happen? Did you approach them, or they approached you?
I was supporting them. They were socialists, nice blokes. They came and said: “can you come and support us?” It was around punk time, like a brand new comedy. I’ve done a gig with Madness. They came to a pub in Camden town, then they came to me, saying they like me… I’ve had more fans among musicians, for example Johnny Marr, guitarist with Smiths….
You’ve been to Prague couple of times, so are you plans to do in Prague?
Walking. It’s my main exercise, I’m trying to do 10.000 steps per day, every day. When I’m home, I go from where I live to Kingston, there and back, trying to do my 10.000 miles… oh no, hold on, steps. Walking is good for you.
(Author would like to thank Lewis Hill, Scott Andrews and Aidan Hughes for helping him understand pretty harsh british accent of Lovett’s — cheers guys!)