David Michie: Our mind is where the happiness or unhappiness happen

Buddhist. Pet lover. Mindfulness teacher. Very successful author. Presenter. I spoke with David couple of months before his visit in the Czech republic — he is a keynote speaker on 2020 Meltingpotforum — July 15–18th 2020 during the Colours of Ostrava festival.

Today’s society is based on materialism, mind techniques are sometimes considered something which benefits an individual, but then the individual will have to do something else to add to the society. And that „something else“ is not spiritual at all. So many people tend to be sceptical and just neglect the self-development. We sometimes ask ourselves — why do we read books? Why do we study? To be self-aware and be spiritual, do we have to lock ourselves to the cottage deep in the mountains with no internet, or can we make spirituality and personal mind care a part of our everyday routine? How do you, with your Buddhist background, see the role of materialism and spiritualism in today’s world?

We live in a materialist society and the essence of the materialistic view is that our happiness or unhappiness depends on matter, on stuff that is outside of ourselves — the things we have, the people we spend our time with. However, it’s a complete misconception: none of these things are true causes of happiness. And by happiness, I’m talking about an abiding feeling of wellbeing.

So what is the true cause of happiness?

Anything that always works. True cause of steam is to apply heat to water, and it does not matter, whether you apply heat to water in Prague, in Perth, in Paris, or in Ostrava — it will always create steam. And it does not matter how many times it has been applied, or who does the application. That is what I mean by true cause.

But material things sometimes bring us pleasure…

Yes, but pleasure and happiness are separate things, as the ancient Greeks recognized when they spoke of hedonia — the happiness we experience from what we get, and eudemonia — the happiness we experience from what we give. If you look at any material thing, whether it is wealth, relationships, job, achievements of one sort or another, not one of the things can be said to be a true cause of happiness. Even highly successful and very wealthy people commit suicide. In Perth, Australia, where I live, and I would imagine it is the same elsewhere, the suburbs that have the highest percentage of antidepressant prescription are the wealthiest suburbs, not the poorest ones. If wealth was truly a cause of happiness, then rich people would have no use for Prozac. Look at people in relationships — we think oh wouldn´t it be fantastic to have that woman as my girlfriend or lover or whatever. And the next thing you know is that they got divorced. The point is that none of those things outside of us are the true causes of happiness.

What is the Buddhist perspective of happiness?

Happiness comes from within. Searching for happiness outside ourselves is looking in the wrong place. We need to change not the outside world, but our own minds. We begin by cultivating mindfulness.

This is a very frequently used buzzword now…

Mindfulness enables us to observe our minds, and when we can learn how to be more effective in monitoring our thoughts, we can better manage them. Then we take control of our own reality for ourselves. When I was very young, I worked for a successful market research company in Johannesburg in south Africa. I had a boss who was obsessed with our over use of paperclips. One day, he decided to have a new rule to staff using the stationery: they had to sign out for whatever they took. „David — one box of paperclips.“ And within a very short period of time, he discovered where all the paperclips have been used — it was one of the departments — and then he replaced the paperclips with a stapler, so he could go happy to bed and sleep like a happy man. The reason why I am telling you this story: when we do not monitor things, we can not manage them. If you do not know who is using the paperclips and how, you can not solve the problem. And that is exactly the same with our minds. If we do not know what is going on in our minds, we have no chance of managing it. Most of us have little idea what is going on in their minds and we are thought victims, obsessing over negative thoughts in particular, with unhappiness as a result.

Is mindfulness the answer?

By more mindful approach, by adopting more mindful tools, we can in monitor our minds, and then we can manage our minds. There is nothing mystical or magical about it. Mental hygiene as a practical application of certain tools enables us better management of thoughts, and thoughts lead directly to emotions.

But why do we have to something mundane with our mind like managing it?

Because our mind is where the happiness or unhappiness is experienced. Even when we can’t change reality, we can change our experience of reality by revising our thoughts, attitudes and beliefs.

Some people say that mindfulness is a simplified lazy western variation of true meditation.

To me, mindfulness is training the mind and has many parallels with training the body. If you want to get fit, you do regular gym workouts. In addition, you can do some incidental exercise during the day, like taking the stairs instead of the lift, or carrying heavy luggage. When we are physically fitter, we can better deal with whatever life throws our way physically. Meditation is the mental equivalent of going to the gym. In addition, we can be mindful during the day, especially of enjoyable things like having a shower, or drinking a coffee. When we are mentally fitter, we can deal with whatever life throws our way psychologically. Mindfulness and meditation go together hand by hand, and it is far easier to be mindful when you regularly practice meditation.

You said: “We come to see our thoughts merely as thoughts, not as facts or truths. We get better at letting go of them.” Why is so important to forget? To make a space for fresh thoughts, abandon the old and embrace the new?

That is certainly a part of the answer. The remaining part of the answer comes from the Harvard Psychology department study that was done a few years ago, with two thousands people with smartphones — it was long before we all had them. So they asked this panel three different questions at different times of the day — What are you doing? What are you thinking? and How happy are you? In 47 percent of times, people are thinking about something other then what they were doing. So they might be washing the dishes, but they are actually thinking about the emails that they are just about to send or they are thinking about the argument they just had with their girlfriend, or what is going to happen later in the day. Neuroscientists call this „a narrative mode“, when we are attending to our thoughts. The opposite is „the direct mode“, when we are attending to what’s coming through our sense doors. Basically around half the time we are not actually tuned in to what is actually happening here, we are tuned into our thoughts. And what was really interesting in that study, was the direct correlation between being in direct mode and being happy. When we are actually paying attention to what is actually happening here and now, we are far more likely to be happy than when we are paying attention to our thoughts. That is one good reason why the ability to let go of thoughts is a very helpful one. Perhaps the main reason is that a lot of the thoughts that we do attend to are negative thoughts which lead to negative emotions. Most of us have a strong instinct to attach to the negative.

Why would we do that? Do you have an example?

Sure. I had a haircut one day, and after that, I was standing in my favourite coffee shop, about to order a coffee. Somebody commented on my haircut positively. I didn’t think about their comment for very long. And the next day I was standing in the same coffee shop and a different person comes up and says: what happened to your hair? And I said : I went to the barber. — Oh, really? That is all they said. I thought What is the problem with my hair? Who are they to talk about my hair like this? I don’t think much of the way they dress. They’ve got pretty bad taste. I don’t even like their partner! I spent the next ten minutes thinking about the negative comment and making myself unhappy, whereas the previous day was equally positive as that one was negative, and yet I gave it not a second thought. It is a good illustration of the power of negative thoughts. That is why learning to monitor what is happening in our minds is so important — we can learn to manage it. From the day we are born to the day we die, the most important job title we ever have is Thought Manager. We are all in charge and manage our thoughts. Some people may be better Thought Managers than other, but most of us are pretty useless at it — because we do not even know that that is our job. But once you learn that, you get better at which thoughts you allow to remain in your mind.

You will be presenting at Meltingpot in Czech republic this year. Do you have something special prepared for the attendees? MeltingPot is sort of a special venue. It is connected with a huge music festival and there are people like switching like the music stage and presentation stage, which is not very usual around, and their mind might just wander…

I am looking forward to doing a few different things. I am looking for integrating some movement and some yoga into the presentation, and then it would be talking about a number of things: how to become a more effective Thought Manager, why train the mind like the body, and I also want to talk about mindfulness and nature, and how nature is the perfect antidote to urban living. I’d like to introduce people to some of the key concepts of mindfulness, how to reconnect to their natural self and introduce some movement into it. And also, if I have time I would like to do some systematic relaxation. I am really looking forward to my time in the Czech republic, helping people step outside of the box and have a bit of experiential fun.

Your books are extremely popular. They keep occupying the top spot of Top ten of books sold on mental hygiene or something like that. What does it make so popular that they keep being sold in such quantities?

Perhaps because the things they are addressing are timeless, they are evergreen. They are always there. We all go through ups and downs in our lives, and when things are going pretty well and life is pretty easy, most people are just happy to keep on doing what they are doing. It is only when people experience a bit of a bump on the road, when we start looking for answers. It is the best thing to do: should I be changing that element of my external life or whatever? At different points of our lives we just become more curious about answers to these timeless questions. My books are not particular to any decade. And they are not fat!

Why do you write so often about cats? Why not dogs, parrots or trained tortoises?

I grew up in Africa, we had cats, dogs, parrots, I used to feed baby elephants, lion cubs… I had access to all kinds of wonderful animals and I have always had a very strong personal relation towards animals. Now Buddhists regard animals as sentient beings. They regard them as conscious and possessing minds. I once read that Dalai Lama had a cat, and I thought: what an amazing life that cat must have, to live with Dalai Lama, sit at the window, eavesdrop on all the conversation he has with fascinating people? Politicians, celebrities… you name it. So I was thinking: wouldn’t it be amazing, if a cat like this could actually talk? And then I said: what if the cat could actually write a book? That is the genesis of the Dalai lama’s Cat. It just seems to strike a chord in people. I have once read a study, which was looking into average profile of cat owners and dog owners. Dog people were more traditional, less interested in unusual religion and philosophy, more conservative. While cat people are were more interested in exotic and unusual things, more progressive. So it would seem that cats are a natural fit for the spiritually curious!

Your cats have nice names. They are called Kahlua, Nala and Princess Wussik — how did you choose those names?

Kahlua and Nala were twelve years old cats when they came into our lives. We had Mambo, a very large, African looking cat — Mambo means king where I was born. And Princess Wussik… she just had strong sense of entitlement, she’s a real princess! And the name just suits her.

From the moment we wake up, we keep communicating with people. First at home, then we go to work, then maybe go to the shops or do other activities and speak to others. Social media and mobile phones are filling the gap during the transport. Is there a chance for a modern person, modern society, to be constantly online, and find time for mental exercise, for mindfulness?

Absolutely. In terms of practical meditation, which is something that I highly, highly recommend, that requires only a small amount of time in the morning, fifteen or twenty minutes. And when people say they do not have time to meditate, they are actually saying they do not really believe in the benefits of meditation. If I told the same people if you meditate fifteen minutes each day, I will give you five million dollars by the end of the year, you would be sure they would find fifteen minutes every morning!

Even the busiest of all people can practise mindfulness on an ongoing basis. Because it is not much about changing what you do, but changing how you do it. For example: when you are in the shower, whether it is in the morning or in the evening, it is about what is going on in your mind — are you actually in the shower, or about are you thinking about what you were or will be doing? And there are many very intensive and delightful things that we do every day, whether is a shower or bathing or eating a nice food or drinking a beautiful coffee or whatever, that we can earmark as an opportunity to be mindful. We all have the capacity, now and then, simply to bring our focus back to the present.

What do we have to do to not forget these pauses during the day?

Put chimes on your mobile or stickers on your watch strap, as a sound or visual prompt to take one mindful breath. Let go of all whatever may be preoccupying you, take a deep breath and then exhale, let go.

What if we are in a non-positive environment?

We have to find the third space. You have a work space and you have a home space, and a problem is that we often import the stress and negativity from work to home. And it is useful to be able to kind of decompress, let go, whatever, and just stay. The third space can be offered during the commute to work or driving to work. If you are commuting, it is an excellent opportunity to practice meditation. You can sit on the train with buds in your ears , and people think you are listening to music, while you could be meditating for ten minutes.

Try to imagine having Harry Potter magic wand and one wish granted. What would it be?

For everyone to care for others more than themselves. When we focus our thoughts compassionately on the wellbeing of others, this becomes a true source of happiness.